So today at the office has been rather amusing, so I’m going to tell you all about it.

We had a client who’s name was Ben Swift, and he had some sort of grudge against another website in which we host and was attempting to DoS (Denial of Service) attack this site totally un-aware that it was hosted at the same place he has his radio.

Now, Mr Swift thinks he is all high and mighty and that he was hidden behind a proxy whist attempting to make his DoS attacks using lame downloaded “n00bie” software. He was very much mistaken.

Bouncyservers and its data center consist of a lot of technically advanced minds, and a simple IP check on the attempted attacks pointed to him, meaning i was able to identify him instantly, now, Mr Swift says he didn’t live where he actually lives, told me he was in an army barracks and there was nothing we can do about it and we cannot trace him.

Wrong again Mr Swift, our data center take this stuff very seriously, and they were able to track him no problem, he says were looking in the wrong place because he used a proxy, and as far as I’m aware, Blue Yonder don’t provide proxy servers, and if he WAS using a proxy, it would of been much harder for us to trace him, the fact we knew it was him and traced it to him proves we know what we need to know to take legal action.

Anyway, he still persists on telling us he cant be traced because he signed up to our services with a fake address and registers domains with a fake address, fact is, we have his ISP information, and have reported it to them for malicious activity.

Now, onto the funny part.

Mr Swift thinks he is a big bad hacker guy who cant be traced, and he sent us this email.

ben swift
Client
25/05/2009 17:01

Hi if there was a botton with the work CANCEL on it i would have clicked it a long time ago so stop been stupid noobies that you are and delete my accounts because i am not paying for your shitty services any more useles crap lol

Now, he’s apparently super intelligent and is able to avoid our technical team, yet he is unable to spell and types like a child, and for someone who is MORE than internet savvy, how was he not able to see this?

As you can see, the cancellation button is there, he was unable to find it, which to me, proves his intelligence.

Also as i mentioned to him in this support ticket, how are our services “shitty” when we were able to prevent his malicious attempts at an attack, trace him and protect the clients site he was trying to attack?

Quite simply, were not

Now, as for Mr Swift, he will find that his address and name will be blacklisted from ISP’s and find himself unable to get a fixed line internet connection, and if it turns out he is in a Army barracks, well, he’s going to be in some SERIOUS trouble for using a military internet connection for malicious activities, that’s the type of stuff that can cause a war if attacking the wrong place. Now, i know some of you reading this know Mr Swift, so please, feel free to laugh at him all you like for being so retarded thinking he is so savvy and intelligent. Turns out his big mouth has done nothing but get him into trouble and help build our case against him.

We actually spent around an hour today laughing at this guy whilst we were building the new servers, true entertainment indeed.